Dear me. It's been a LONG time since I've posted anything! Well, I guess that's because nothing has really been going on. It's just been a waiting game. Even though January would have been a good time for us to file, the attorneys were quite backed up with cases and it took them about 3 months to actually get to ours after we paid the fee. Whatever, I'm just glad to get this ball rolling.
A wrench in the works: I posted about this on the BK forum, so I'll be brief here: our Ford Escape got stolen the other night, out of our mechanic's lot! No joke. The police found it in a crappy part of town, totally trashed. We took pics of it in the junkyard...all the windows were busted out, it was all muddy, mangled, trashed. I'm sure there was probably crack involved, right? It looked like someone just unleashed their wrath on our poor, already-ailing car.
I would say "good riddance," but we kinda need that car! We weren't prepared to be without it for a couple more months...now we have some figuring out to do. I think things will be a lot clearer after we hear from our attorney tomorrow about what we're supposed to do, and how this will affect how we treat the car in our BK filing.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Monday, December 15, 2008
where we are today
OK, so I've given pretty much all the background of how we came to this.
Today I'm working on the massive info packet to send to the attorney. It is such a pain! Especially since I'm not the world's best record-keeper. :( Every time I think I'm almost done, there's one more scrap of paper that I have to find. And utility bills from the last 3 months? Uh....I pretty much throw those away. I hope that's not absolutely necessary!
I just want to get GOING on all of this so it can be over. I'm really looking forward to not having to talk to the creditors every day and worry about whether they're going to call my family or not.
Since we have started this process, I have gotten myself on an antidepressant. It is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I should have done it long before now. I realized that I was not going to make it through this if I didn't do something! I cannot even express how different I feel. I'm able to deal with this whole BK thing rationally and without crying every day. It is such a relief!
So my main concern right now - about this blog - is that I'm putting all kinds of effort into writing it, and what if no one reads? What's the point? Ugh. I'm not one of those blogger types that just seems to attract all kinds of readers. I'm not sure what to do. So if anyone is out there reading this, let me know! Just to make me feel better!!!
Today I'm working on the massive info packet to send to the attorney. It is such a pain! Especially since I'm not the world's best record-keeper. :( Every time I think I'm almost done, there's one more scrap of paper that I have to find. And utility bills from the last 3 months? Uh....I pretty much throw those away. I hope that's not absolutely necessary!
I just want to get GOING on all of this so it can be over. I'm really looking forward to not having to talk to the creditors every day and worry about whether they're going to call my family or not.
Since we have started this process, I have gotten myself on an antidepressant. It is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I should have done it long before now. I realized that I was not going to make it through this if I didn't do something! I cannot even express how different I feel. I'm able to deal with this whole BK thing rationally and without crying every day. It is such a relief!
So my main concern right now - about this blog - is that I'm putting all kinds of effort into writing it, and what if no one reads? What's the point? Ugh. I'm not one of those blogger types that just seems to attract all kinds of readers. I'm not sure what to do. So if anyone is out there reading this, let me know! Just to make me feel better!!!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
the perfect storm
Then one day, after we had taken out all this ridiculous money at ridiculous rates to pay people their money....our long-time tenant sent us a letter saying that he was buying a house and moving out of our rental. He heh. It just kind of figured.
We didn't have even $100 to spare to get the place barely fixed up to be rentable again.
I got on the phone at some point after that with a debt management agency - one of those credit counseling things where they negotiate and put all your payments together, lower interest, etc, and get your monthly payments down.
At this point, DH had a job (mid-September), and it wasn't a great salary but it wasn't terrible. But when I did the budget, no matter how much I scrimped or finagled the numbers, we were still approximately $2500 in the red at the end of the month with our bills/debts. $2500 in the red.
So anyway, when the credit counseling person tried to work the numbers for me, she ended up suggesting that we consider bankruptcy. I was furious! That was still not an option, in my mind. But after weeks more of number-crunching and option-weighing, reality started to set in.
We didn't have even $100 to spare to get the place barely fixed up to be rentable again.
I got on the phone at some point after that with a debt management agency - one of those credit counseling things where they negotiate and put all your payments together, lower interest, etc, and get your monthly payments down.
At this point, DH had a job (mid-September), and it wasn't a great salary but it wasn't terrible. But when I did the budget, no matter how much I scrimped or finagled the numbers, we were still approximately $2500 in the red at the end of the month with our bills/debts. $2500 in the red.
So anyway, when the credit counseling person tried to work the numbers for me, she ended up suggesting that we consider bankruptcy. I was furious! That was still not an option, in my mind. But after weeks more of number-crunching and option-weighing, reality started to set in.
the proverbial nail in the coffin
We were never in great financial shape. But we would still be hanging on, trying to make it out of our debt, if not for the business failing. I don't blame anyone for that; it just happened. Yes, there are definitely things that should have been done, or at least done better. Yes, the timing was very bad. There were red flags all over the place. You just don't quit your job and open a new business when you don't have a single penny to fall back on. And certainly not when you have 4 kids - one of them an infant - depending on you.
I won't dwell too much on this because it's in the past and all involved have learned from the experience. I will just say that DH decided that he couldn't wait another day to live out his dream. I fought him tooth and nail, and finally just gave up. I decided that I'd rather let him try, and whatever happens, happens...than risk having him resent me for the rest of his life for "holding him back." That's pretty much all I want to say because it is such an emotional subject for me. By God's grace I have been learning to let go of all anger and bitterness. I do love my DH and I am proud of him. I am thankful that our marriage has gotten stronger, not weaker (or OVER!), through this experience. Again, the grace of God at work.
Well, he held on for 2 1/2 years. The business was a roller coaster ride. It was tough. I look back on that time and don't know how I made it with my sanity intact! Then this past summer, when the economy REALLY started to tank, the business went down with it. Even the most savvy business owner in this line of work would have been hard pressed to keep it going. When the store closed in August, there was about $40K worth of money owed to clients. That's some serious stress. I do not know what others would have done, but we borrowed money from anywhere we could get it. Namely, the two biggest sub-prime loan sharks out there...our old friends CF, and Beneficial. (The irony of that name...). I sobbed the day we did it. I felt like I was selling my soul to these people and they were going to own us for the rest of our lives. We just didn't know what else to do. The wolves were at the door and it was downright scary. We knew it was a lot of money; somehow we thought we could make it work. DH didn't even have a job yet when we were given these loans. I guess we figured that when he did get a job, his salary would allow us to be able to make the payments. Um, not quite!
I won't dwell too much on this because it's in the past and all involved have learned from the experience. I will just say that DH decided that he couldn't wait another day to live out his dream. I fought him tooth and nail, and finally just gave up. I decided that I'd rather let him try, and whatever happens, happens...than risk having him resent me for the rest of his life for "holding him back." That's pretty much all I want to say because it is such an emotional subject for me. By God's grace I have been learning to let go of all anger and bitterness. I do love my DH and I am proud of him. I am thankful that our marriage has gotten stronger, not weaker (or OVER!), through this experience. Again, the grace of God at work.
Well, he held on for 2 1/2 years. The business was a roller coaster ride. It was tough. I look back on that time and don't know how I made it with my sanity intact! Then this past summer, when the economy REALLY started to tank, the business went down with it. Even the most savvy business owner in this line of work would have been hard pressed to keep it going. When the store closed in August, there was about $40K worth of money owed to clients. That's some serious stress. I do not know what others would have done, but we borrowed money from anywhere we could get it. Namely, the two biggest sub-prime loan sharks out there...our old friends CF, and Beneficial. (The irony of that name...). I sobbed the day we did it. I felt like I was selling my soul to these people and they were going to own us for the rest of our lives. We just didn't know what else to do. The wolves were at the door and it was downright scary. We knew it was a lot of money; somehow we thought we could make it work. DH didn't even have a job yet when we were given these loans. I guess we figured that when he did get a job, his salary would allow us to be able to make the payments. Um, not quite!
Friday, December 12, 2008
my avatar on BK forum
Hee heee heee....I just have to chuckle because I get such a kick out of this! 
Crazy Eddie was this appliance commercial guy that was always on TV when I was growing up outside of Philly. When I went on my quest for a good BK lawyer, most of them reminded me of this guy. So I made an avatar about him. My rule of thumb was, don't call anyone in the yellow pages whose listing had a clipart picture of some sad sack with his pockets turned inside out.
Crazy Eddie was this appliance commercial guy that was always on TV when I was growing up outside of Philly. When I went on my quest for a good BK lawyer, most of them reminded me of this guy. So I made an avatar about him. My rule of thumb was, don't call anyone in the yellow pages whose listing had a clipart picture of some sad sack with his pockets turned inside out.
the snowball effect
It's amazing what can happen when one (or two) gets lax about their money. A credit card here, there, before you know it we have like 5 of them, all maxed out. My direct sales business that was going to make me a stay-at-home millionaire? Let's charge thousands of dollars in inventory; I'll sell it all anyway. It practically sells itself, right? ;) DH's investments in wholesale merchandise to turn around and make a huge profit? Let's charge it; when he makes his profit he can just pay the money back easily. Easily!
I have to say, not that it makes it any better, but it's not like we were out on fabulous spending sprees or going on amazing vacations. It would have been a heck of a lot more fun, though. We, being the idealistic idiots that we were, didn't stop to consider the possibility of what would happen if our investments DIDN'T pay off. So there's that.
Then there was just a lot of piddly little stuff - reasonable car payments, small student loan, line of credit from the bank...all the "normal" things that just add up. We were not living it up in any way. In fact, we struggled and argued a lot, I believe because the stress of not having any freed up cash is a huge bummer, to say the least.
We were living right up to the limit of our income, and we weren't even having all that much fun. Our debts were high and burdensome, but not insurmountable. I had discovered an online community dedicated to scratching and clawing out of debt, and a great way to do it. It was about living beneath your means and changing your money habits. For years, I mean like 5 years, I was determined to live this way and get out of debt. DH? Not exactly on board, but we muddled through. Fast-forward to about 6 months ago. Everything was going OK. Our freedom from debt (except for the evil overlord CF) was in sight - by December 2009 we were set to be nonmortgage debt-free.
Well, let me back up a little....
I have to say, not that it makes it any better, but it's not like we were out on fabulous spending sprees or going on amazing vacations. It would have been a heck of a lot more fun, though. We, being the idealistic idiots that we were, didn't stop to consider the possibility of what would happen if our investments DIDN'T pay off. So there's that.
Then there was just a lot of piddly little stuff - reasonable car payments, small student loan, line of credit from the bank...all the "normal" things that just add up. We were not living it up in any way. In fact, we struggled and argued a lot, I believe because the stress of not having any freed up cash is a huge bummer, to say the least.
We were living right up to the limit of our income, and we weren't even having all that much fun. Our debts were high and burdensome, but not insurmountable. I had discovered an online community dedicated to scratching and clawing out of debt, and a great way to do it. It was about living beneath your means and changing your money habits. For years, I mean like 5 years, I was determined to live this way and get out of debt. DH? Not exactly on board, but we muddled through. Fast-forward to about 6 months ago. Everything was going OK. Our freedom from debt (except for the evil overlord CF) was in sight - by December 2009 we were set to be nonmortgage debt-free.
Well, let me back up a little....
what started it all
It's hard to know where to start. DH & I are such normal people. We have an average income, young kids, decent college educations, normal cars, normal house, normal friends...there is nothing about us that would make anyone think we're in serious financial trouble! It's hard to know when it all started - but my guess is that it started a few months before we were married, about 7 1/2 years ago.
DH had this duplex. He lived in one side and rented out the other. Don't even get me started on that. Anyway, I suspect to buy my engagement ring, he took out a home equity loan from the evil legal loan sharks known as Citi Financial. I really do think that we might have made it if not for that. I don't know, though. Anyway, that was pretty much the start of our troubles - and I didn't even know it! We weren't married yet and because we were not smart, we didn't really talk about money the way engaged couples need to. Idiots! (a la Napoleon Dynamite)
Let me say that over the course of these last 7 years, we have paid a total of about $17K on that $15K loan. Do you know what the balance on that loan is today? A little over $15K. Yep. We have struggled and scratched and clawed and sacrificed and all that other stuff largely because of this loan, and there is absolutely nothing to show for it. I have known for the last several years that if we didn't start throwing gargantuan chunks of money at that thing, we could literally still be paying for it well into our 60's or even 70's - or maybe never pay it off at all. It's entirely possible. BTW, we're in our 30's right now, to give some perspective.
So there was that. It kept us from being able to sell our rental house. It kept us from being able to make a profit on the rent. With that 2nd mortgage, we were barely breaking even on the rental house. And when a tenant would leave....that was bad. Stressful times. Crying on the phone and "free deferments" from CF. Thinking they were actually helping us. The feeling that we had this weight around our necks that was pulling us to the bottom of the ocean.
Each of us had a little minor credit card debt, probably not even $2K between us at the time. I'd definitely say that that 2nd mortgage was the start of it all.
DH had this duplex. He lived in one side and rented out the other. Don't even get me started on that. Anyway, I suspect to buy my engagement ring, he took out a home equity loan from the evil legal loan sharks known as Citi Financial. I really do think that we might have made it if not for that. I don't know, though. Anyway, that was pretty much the start of our troubles - and I didn't even know it! We weren't married yet and because we were not smart, we didn't really talk about money the way engaged couples need to. Idiots! (a la Napoleon Dynamite)
Let me say that over the course of these last 7 years, we have paid a total of about $17K on that $15K loan. Do you know what the balance on that loan is today? A little over $15K. Yep. We have struggled and scratched and clawed and sacrificed and all that other stuff largely because of this loan, and there is absolutely nothing to show for it. I have known for the last several years that if we didn't start throwing gargantuan chunks of money at that thing, we could literally still be paying for it well into our 60's or even 70's - or maybe never pay it off at all. It's entirely possible. BTW, we're in our 30's right now, to give some perspective.
So there was that. It kept us from being able to sell our rental house. It kept us from being able to make a profit on the rent. With that 2nd mortgage, we were barely breaking even on the rental house. And when a tenant would leave....that was bad. Stressful times. Crying on the phone and "free deferments" from CF. Thinking they were actually helping us. The feeling that we had this weight around our necks that was pulling us to the bottom of the ocean.
Each of us had a little minor credit card debt, probably not even $2K between us at the time. I'd definitely say that that 2nd mortgage was the start of it all.
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