the proverbial nail in the coffin

We were never in great financial shape. But we would still be hanging on, trying to make it out of our debt, if not for the business failing. I don't blame anyone for that; it just happened. Yes, there are definitely things that should have been done, or at least done better. Yes, the timing was very bad. There were red flags all over the place. You just don't quit your job and open a new business when you don't have a single penny to fall back on. And certainly not when you have 4 kids - one of them an infant - depending on you.

I won't dwell too much on this because it's in the past and all involved have learned from the experience. I will just say that DH decided that he couldn't wait another day to live out his dream. I fought him tooth and nail, and finally just gave up. I decided that I'd rather let him try, and whatever happens, happens...than risk having him resent me for the rest of his life for "holding him back." That's pretty much all I want to say because it is such an emotional subject for me. By God's grace I have been learning to let go of all anger and bitterness. I do love my DH and I am proud of him. I am thankful that our marriage has gotten stronger, not weaker (or OVER!), through this experience. Again, the grace of God at work.

Well, he held on for 2 1/2 years. The business was a roller coaster ride. It was tough. I look back on that time and don't know how I made it with my sanity intact! Then this past summer, when the economy REALLY started to tank, the business went down with it. Even the most savvy business owner in this line of work would have been hard pressed to keep it going. When the store closed in August, there was about $40K worth of money owed to clients. That's some serious stress. I do not know what others would have done, but we borrowed money from anywhere we could get it. Namely, the two biggest sub-prime loan sharks out there...our old friends CF, and Beneficial. (The irony of that name...). I sobbed the day we did it. I felt like I was selling my soul to these people and they were going to own us for the rest of our lives. We just didn't know what else to do. The wolves were at the door and it was downright scary. We knew it was a lot of money; somehow we thought we could make it work. DH didn't even have a job yet when we were given these loans. I guess we figured that when he did get a job, his salary would allow us to be able to make the payments. Um, not quite!